Navigating Burnout: A Leader's Journey to Emotional Regulation
- Ashley Renee Hall
- Nov 21, 2025
- 6 min read
Updated: Dec 2, 2025
Have you ever walked into a room and instantly felt your chest tighten?
Do you ever rewrite the same email three times because you don’t want to sound “too much” or want your team to know you care about their well-being?
Have you ever carried the entire weight of a team while quietly wondering if you’re one mistake away from being replaced?
If your answer is yes, you’re not weak. You’re not “too emotional.” You’re not failing. You’re leading from survival mode, and no one ever taught you how to name it.
The Hidden Performance No One Talks About
If you're a woman in leadership, you know the silent choreography. You try to be perfectly presented so no one sees the truth underneath.
The truth? Yes, the hesitation, the overwhelm, the fear, and the emotional fraying that makes you feel like you’re holding your breath through most of the day.
You sit in meetings with a steady voice while your stomach twists. You lead conversations with grace even when your hands are trembling. You hold everyone else’s emotions like fragile glass, quietly terrified of dropping anything.
You navigate:
wanting to be assertive,
not wanting to be “too direct,”
wanting to express your truth,
not wanting to trigger anyone,
wanting to lead well,
not wanting to be disliked.
This internal tug-of-war isn’t imagined. It’s your internal wiring. Research shows women leaders carry higher relational vigilance, emotional labor, and reputational risk than men. You’re not only doing the job; you’re managing how the job feels to everyone else.
It’s a double shift the world rarely sees or is even aware of, and it’s why burnout hits so hard.
Why Your Emotions Feel Like “Too Much”
Most women were not taught emotional regulation. They were taught emotional management.
Stay pleasant.
Stay adaptable.
Stay calm.
Stay likable.
Don’t overwhelm others.
Don’t create conflict unless you can guarantee repair.
So you learned to contain everything. Until that containment turns into emotional overflow, what some call “emotional dumping,” but what is often just a dysregulated nervous system with nowhere left to put the pressure.
Research backs this: when the nervous system is overloaded and unsupported, it defaults to either shutdown, people-pleasing, or emotional spillover. None of this is a character flaw. It's biology.
Why Burnout Looks Different in Women Leaders
Women often lead with a relational radar that never turns off:
You read micro-expressions.
You anticipate reactions.
You soften your tone.
You monitor the emotional climate.
You carry the “glue work” (the invisible labor that keeps teams functioning).
This creates what researchers call role strain and emotional load stacking, a predictor of burnout that hits women disproportionately in leadership.
And then comes the final squeeze:
You don’t delegate because you’re afraid the work won’t be done right… and if it’s not,you will be held responsible.*
So you over-function. You redo your team’s work. You procrastinate because you’re overwhelmed. Then the work is late, and suddenly you’re being questioned for the very thing you were trying to avoid.
This cycle is not personal inadequacy. It is the consequence of holding too much with too little internal support.
Emotional Regulation vs. Emotional Containment: The Mistake No One Teaches
Emotional containment = holding everything tightly so nothing spills out (often causing conflict avoidance).
Emotional regulation = letting the body process emotions so your leadership remains consistent.
Most women were only taught the first.
The research is clear: Trying to think your way through emotion activates more stress circuitry in the brain, especially in women, whose threat detection centers are more reactive under chronic pressure.
Containment builds pressure. Regulation releases it.
Without regulation? The emotional system leaks sideways:
shutting down
spiraling
people-pleasing
conflict avoidance
emotional dumping
perfectionism (making you unrelatable to others)
inconsistency in leadership
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why am I so on it some days and scrambled on others?” This is also a factor of hormone fluctuations throughout the month. More on this in another post. Emotional containment vs. emotional regulation is part of the why.
What Actually Rebuilds Consistent Leadership (Backed by Science)
You don’t fix burnout by becoming tougher. You fix burnout by becoming regulated. Here’s what the research shows:
1. Vagal Tone = Your Ability to Return to Baseline
Your vagus nerve is the body’s recovery system. Stronger vagal tone means you can face conflict, challenge, or pressure, and come back down quickly and cleanly. Intentional breathing, humming, slow exhales, and paced respiration all strengthen vagal tone.
2. Neuroplasticity = Your Ability to Change How You Lead
Your brain rewires through repeated action, not insight. If you want to stop people-pleasing, stop over-functioning, and stop avoiding conflict, you must train new neural pathways through small embodied behaviors. Insight creates awareness. Behavior creates change.
3. Regulation Tools Reduce Leadership Errors
Tools like:
rhythmic breathing,
tapping (EFT),
micro-movement resets,
shaking (stress discharge),
walking meetings,
cold water on the back of the neck,
grounding practices
…all help pull you out of survival mode and restore cognitive clarity (working memory, inhibition, and decision-making). When your mind and body calm, your leadership sharpens.
The Truth Beneath All of This
Burnout in women leaders is not caused by weakness. It is caused by carrying the emotional stress and weight of your role without the internal tools to process it.
And if you’re reading this, you already know the cost:
second-guessing
inconsistency
overthinking
overwhelmed teams
emotional exhaustion
fear of conflict
fear of being misunderstood
fear of being replaced
fear of disappointing someone somewhere...
This is not a personal failure. It is a signal. And signals are meant to be read, not ignored.
If This Resonated with You - Even One Line - Then It’s Time
Burnout does not fix itself. Neither does emotional overload. Nor does the pressure to lead perfectly while doubting yourself quietly.
But you can reset your system, your physiology, your leadership, your patterns, and build a version of yourself that is: Regulated, Anchored, Confident, and Clear.
If you’re wondering where to start, I offer a free 45-minute Leadership Reset Call, a private session to identify where you are on the burnout cycle, understand what’s driving your inconsistency, and learn two tools you can use immediately to get your power back.
This call is pressure-free. It’s not a sales ambush. It’s your first reset.
👉 Book your Leadership Reset Call here.
The Path Forward: Embracing Change
As we navigate the complexities of leadership, it’s crucial to embrace change. Change begins with understanding our emotions and how they influence our decisions.
Understanding Your Triggers
Recognizing what triggers your stress is the first step. Are there specific situations that make you feel overwhelmed? Identifying these can help you prepare and respond more effectively.
Building a Support System
Surround yourself with a support system. Whether it’s colleagues, mentors, or friends, having a network can provide the emotional support you need. Share your experiences and listen to theirs. You’re not alone in this journey.
Practicing Self-Compassion
Be kind to yourself. Leadership is challenging, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. This self-compassion can help you regain clarity and focus.
Implementing Mindfulness Practices
Incorporate mindfulness practices into your daily routine. Simple techniques like meditation, journaling, or even a few moments of deep breathing can help ground you. These practices can create space for reflection and emotional processing.
Setting Boundaries
Learn to set boundaries. It’s okay to say no. Protecting your time and energy is essential for sustainable leadership. Establish clear boundaries that honor your needs and those of your team.
Conclusion: Your Leadership Journey
Your journey as a leader is uniquely yours. Embrace the challenges and the triumphs. Remember, it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress.
By focusing on emotional regulation and self-care, you can lead with clarity and confidence. Let’s redefine what leadership looks like together.
References
Ely, R. J., Ibarra, H., & Kolb, D. (2011). Taking gender into account: Theory and design for women’s leadership development programs. Academy of Management Learning & Education, 10(3), 474–493. https://doi.org/10.5465/amle.2010.0046
Gabriel, A. S., et al. (2018). Emotional labor actors: How and why women often bear the burden at work. Journal of Applied Psychology, 103(8), 903–921.
Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects. Psychological Inquiry, 26(1), 1–26.
Aldao, A., & Nolen-Hoeksema, S. (2012). When emotion regulation backfires. Clinical Psychology Review, 32(8), 676–688. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2012.09.004
Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding burnout: New models. Burnout Research, 3(4), 89–100.
Stevens, J. S., & Hamann, S. (2012). Sex differences in brain activation to emotional stimuli. Neuropsychologia, 50(5), 105–120.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory. W. W. Norton.
Davidson, R. J., & McEwen, B. S. (2012). Social influences on neuroplasticity. Nature Neuroscience, 15(5), 689–695.
Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signaling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10, 410–422. https://doi.org/10.1038/nrn2648
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